Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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