the day after is always just damage control
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize