It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
