I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
