All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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