This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize