I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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