Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
