wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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