Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
