He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
this hospital has no fireball
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
