You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
