I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
