Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
