Buhtt sex?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
