Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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