I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
