You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
