Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
