...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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