is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize