I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just puked most of my soul out..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
