I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
