Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
