The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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