no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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