I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
