Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
