I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
