i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
