Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
