when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
