TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish i was in the wii world.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
