his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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