Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
