the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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