ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
