Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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