yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
