Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize