Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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