Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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