it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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