We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
