It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
