would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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