wake up i wanna do it froggy style
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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