I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize