Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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