highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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