I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
