It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
