New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
