Nicole vs. Life
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
