Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
