He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
