she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i now understand why vodka
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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