We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
