My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize