So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
