i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
