they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
