he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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