I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize