he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
