reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need moral support for this bender
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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