i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
